A note on labels (shoutout to Graeme)

I call myself 'Single Black Female' because these are the official social categories I occupy.

'Single':
I am not and do not consider myself single.  I am in a happy relationship with my best friend.  I love him more than I have ever loved Anything, Anyone, Ever.  I wear the ring he gave me for our two year anniversary on my ring finger.  We're planning on getting married and having babies.  I need him around because (1) I need help...um...conceiving and raising said babies and (2) The (aforementioned, seruously, Anything Anyone Ever) Love.  The fact that I can write these blog posts on his computer, with him beside me and that I can talk to him about the stuff I post here, that he reads the posts, is testament to the fact that I can trust him with My Stuff, and that we can hash this stuff out, together. 

This blog is me fighting.  For me, and for us.

We're not married yet, though.  So on forms, I tick single.  It is an arbitrary label in a world that only affords me two.  And I'm not married...yet.

'Black':
Where to start.  On forms, I tick that I am 'Black African'.  I am trying to figure out what this means, given that I move, live, work, learn and love in mostly white spaces.  Watch this space on this.

'Female':
Again, a favorite of mine on forms.  I identify as female, as woman, and as a feminist woman, I try to live my life in a way that negates societal definitions of womanhood.  That doesn't mean negating womanhood, though, and I hold fast to it.  Thus the label 'female', here, is a stand in for the label 'woman'. 

We clear?